Bonnie Park and Dave's Running

Today I completed my second 5K of the year.  This one was very personal to me.  It was held at Bonnie Park a favorite of Dave's and the same park where we held his memorial last August.  I achieved my goal of running the entire length of the 5K and my official time was 50:12.

Ninety pounds and 2 5K races later, I am so happy to be where I am today and so grateful for his ever-present inspiration.  And so I present the same inspiration to you, my friends, as I told a woman today who was doing her first 5K race ever, it doesn't matter where you finish, what matters is that you showed up to the race.  Take care of yourselves the best that you can for yourself and for those that love you, too.

Many thanks to the folks at Dave's Running for my awesome shirt in memory of my Dave.  The kindness of strangers never ceases to amaze me.

Zach

This past week has been kind of a struggle for me.  I think I've finally entered the stage of grief where I'm kind of angry.  Angry at him, angry at me, angry at others, angry at my other blog...  This did not mix well with a mysterious gain of one pound this week. Nonetheless I literally woke up one morning after wrestling with all of these things and my head was clear and I was thinking these words: I choose to go forward.

 I really do think that things come to us just when we need them (ok, most of the time) and so I suppose that it was no coincidence that I read a blog post, Thoughts on Vegans, by a local musician, Zach.  While Zach and I have never actually met we travel in a few of the same circles of art and music shows and festivals so I've had the good fortune to hear him perform many times.  So I guess it's not surprising that after reading his blog that a song that he wrote came to mind.

The song is called "Be" and some of the lyrics are 'Be the change that you want to see, Only you can be what you want to be.'  I know that this song has a much broader and nobler scope than weight loss but it is a message that inspires me and I hope it will inspire you too.

In case the video won't load, here's a link to it on YouTube.

A Picture

Pardon me if you've already seen my MFP blog but I thought this was pretty cool.  Here's a picture of me in the outfit that I wore to Dave's memorial service both on that day in August and today, too.

The Scale!

As of today I have lost 70 pounds!!!  

That is all. :)

Perspective

In 1997 I became a small business owner.  Specifically, I opened a catering business with my good friend, the aforementioned Onion Breath.

Today I had to email a long-time client to let him know that I wouldn't be able to cater his lunches after July because the next phase of my life is beginning and this one is ending.  If you had asked me where I'd be 16 years later, I would have truly had no clue.  But I can guarantee that even though it's rocky at times, that there's no place that I'd rather be right here and right now rather than in this very place.  I don't have a job (yet).  I'm not at my goal weight (yet).  But things are heading in the right direction.  And I don't mean to be sad, but, if only he who his cheering me on from beyond were here in the flesh it would be a complete little slice of heaven.  Nonetheless, I will carry on and recognize that things are pretty good the way they are.

11.6!

Not much to say today, just wanted to say that I'm down from 16.4 to 11.6 to reach my first mini goal!  And to think I was having nightmares all night that I was going to weigh myself and find out that I hadn't lost any weight or had even gained some.

It's a pretty good day! :)

16.4

So, I guess I should explain my weight loss goals. First of all, in order to get my knee fixed I need to lose 103 pounds total.* Then, after that, to be in a health BMI range I need to lose 111 more for a total loss of 214 pounds.

*Here's the thing, though, the need to lose 103 pounds is just my best remembered guess of what the doctor said. The truth is that I think I tuned him out after the part where I was too fat to have the surgery. I really don't know what the number is.

Therefore, I decided awhile back that I would get to 275 pounds and then go to the doctor's office and find out for sure. I know that weighing 275 will still be too much, but I figure that having lost 78 pounds to get there will be enough to demonstrate that I'm serious about this and not just'wasting their time' to find out what to do next.

And... that brings me to the heart of this post. I only need to lost 16.4 more pounds to get to 275. I've been having kind of a crappy, sad day today, but figuring out this number has made me feel much better.

So, thank you 16.4, you're my new lucky number. :)